Bamboozled

I just read a note saying I better be up early in the morning... "Happy Birthday." It's not my birthday until June 8th, so I had to read the note twice.

"Happy Birthday? It's not my birthday."

Hey wait a minute, that note is directed at me; well of course it is, Julia wrote it! So it appears as though I might be going somewhere tomorrow. I walk into the office, there's the suitcase. I asked Julia if I could peek inside and she barked "NO!" She knew I was looking for clothing items that may give away the location. All I saw was a t-shirt. What that says, I don't know. It's sitting behind me and the tension is torture. Oh yes, I have to be up early. It's 1:00 am and I'm writing this Blog. How can I sleep now?

So here I am, on the brink of going somewhere and I still don't know a damn thing. This is very disturbing. I've been telling everyone, and I mean everyone, that I wanted to go away, leave, vamoose, and I heard nothing. The silence was absolute. I always looked for clues, listened acutely at conversations, dropped hints, attempted to bait people into spilling the beans and I got nothing. I would be the first one voted off Survivor for sure. I wouldn't have a clue that people were conspiring against me. "Look at that butterfly... What? I'm voted off the Island?"

I gave up planning anything; I wanted to plan things for other people. I was resigned that nothing was happening even though Julia told me--TOLD ME--something was happening. I bought a whole bunch of tomatoes today. TOMATOES! Those things don't last long in the fridge. I went and got a cardiogram today, over a month after my physical, because I thought I should not because I knew anything. I bought a new baking element for the oven, I said I'd install it tomorrow, I guess not.

Whomever all the conspirators were, certainly everyone at Air Supply, (I'm scheduled to work tomorrow--or thought I was) you bastards, there is no way I can trust any of you again! You made me wallow in self pity all this time and didn't spill the beans. I missed all those conversations around the watercooler. To my brother and sister, you guys knew all along. In all the conversations we've had and all those emails, never once did I even sniff a conspiracy. Even yesterday I made another snide comment about "maybe jetting off somewhere" and you guys kept you're cool. Have you thought about careers in CSIS? Wait a minute--it all makes sense now. (Shifty eyes). To Julia, I kept telling everyone that either you were up to something and doing a masterful job of keeping it quiet or you had nothing planned and were just waiting for things to come up. I've been bamboozled. Brilliant!

Wherever we go, thanks. If I've been a little curt over the past couple months it's because I needed this. I guess I realize now what a control freak I am. I hate not planning things; I hate not being involved; I'm such a doubter, a "Hamlet" as Julia has referred to me in the past. I will change! After my trip.