1. Molson
Muscle (noun): a term of endearment for someone’s large distended belly
caused by excessive consumption of beer products. While this stomach may or may not be caused
by the consumption of Molson products, I have yet to hear the term “Labatt
Belly” or “Fort Garry Gut.” Watch for
the Molson muscle at recreational sports leagues, fishing derbies and Winnipeg
Blue Bomber games. Synonyms include beer gut, paunch and beer belly.
2. Farmer
Tan (noun): a term for people wearing a T-shirt while working outside, then
deciding to walk around shirtless at an outdoor event revealing their brown
well-tanned arms but still ghostly white torso. The classic farmer tan is evident throughout
Manitoba but is highly conspicuous at Grand Beach or during Folkfest. There are no known synonyms, but these tans
can also exist around the ankles of golfers.
3. Two-Four
(noun): the largest single box of beer available at the MLCC or local beer
stores around the city. The “two-four”
is usually purchased for such events as going up to the lake, having friends
over for a patio party or simply when you prefer to buy in bulk. People who purchase two-fours often sport Molson
muscles (see above) and are frequently seen placing these gargantuan boxes of
beer into the back of pick-up trucks on their way to Country Fest. The typical species of two-four are Budweiser,
Labatt Lite and Coors Lite, but not craft beers, which are usually found only
in “sixers.”
4. Catch
some rays (idiom): not to be confused with ocean sport fishing, these are
the sun’s rays and this practice was common in summer until the rapid increase
in skin cancer rates hung a black cloud over the activity. Back in my twenties, we never used “sun
block,” in fact we didn’t even know what sun block or suntan lotion were. To the contrary, we slathered ourselves with
light oil to make ourselves tan (or burn) even faster because nobody wanted to
look pale in the summer. Almost thirty
years on, we now all look like blistered and weather-beaten old saddle bags,
but at least we didn’t have farmer tans.
5. Raining
cats and dogs (idiom): I must first offer the disclaimer that no animals
have ever been hurt during this event so DO NOT call the Humane Society if
someone tells you this. Raining “cats
and dogs” simply means it’s raining really hard. This has to be one of the most ridiculous idioms
in the English language since I’ve never actually seen cats or dogs falling
from the sky. If idioms can be this ridiculous, I’m going to start some of my
own. When it starts hailing, I want us
all to say: “it’s hailing octopi.” See
it’s easy to create idioms and nobody ever needs to question what they mean,
that’s the beauty of them.
6. Give’r and Givin’r (verbs): these are common
verbs associated with many activities in summer time such as driving fast,
water skiing, drinking your two-four, pedaling your bicycle too fast down a
hill, building a deck or anything else involving speed. Give’r is a general request used in this
context:
“Hey, can I have one of your
Molson Canadians, eh?”
“Sure, give’r, eh.”
“Sure, give’r, eh.”
Givin’r is often the state or
action immediately following that request.
“Look at him chuggin’ that
Molson Canadian, he’s really givin’r.”
7. Blow this popsicle stand (idiom): this generally means it’s time to
leave a place and move on to another.
There is a slightly negative connotation to this phrase, since “blowing
this popsicle stand” generally means the place is “lame” and you know of a
better place to go. Sometimes this
happens when you’ve finished your two-four and have heard there’s a “kegger”
party close by. Sometimes it’s just time
to “hit up” a pizza joint, but always keep in mind that popsicles are rarely
served at any of these locations and for heaven’s sake, do not take this idiom
literally even if you happen to be at a popsicle stand.
So there you have it, seven
slang words and idioms that should help you survive and thrive during
Manitoba’s summer months. Keep an eye
out for Molson muscles and farmer tans and don’t forget to give’r with whatever
you plan to do in summer. Catch some
rays, but blow that popsicle stand if it starts raining cats and dogs or
hailing octopi.
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